Thursday, February 25, 2010

Submit a bid

Spencer wanted me to give him a call this morning. So I did. The reason for the call was that he wanted to propose we shut down this blog. His reasons were two fold:

1. I do not contribute much to it.

2. Our blog did not make it on to Dennis Busch's Top Reads NOR on his list of honorable mentions.

I'm fairly certain the second reason stung a lot more than the first reason.

I apologize for my lack of posting. My wittiness comes and goes. Most often than not it goes. So I figure it's better to be silent than to post something that'll decrease the tiny amount of readers we currently have. Dennis, I am sad we didn't make it on your list. You are many people's measuring tool for funniness. And because you've set the humor bar quite high, it's considered an honor to be mentioned by you...in pretty much ANY way. So if you're going to be coming out with another Top Reads list next year, Spencer and I would like to toss our hat in the ring and be considered. Thank you.

Hard Hitting News

I saw Princess and the Frog last night with my friend Mackenna. It was cute. Before the movie started, there was a preview for this movie. I am not ashamed at all to admit that I WILL be seeing this when it goes straight to DVD.

Speaking of Killer whales, the Today Show informed me that a SeaWorld Trainer was killed by one yesterday. That's really sad. My thoughts go out to her family. However, on a lighter note, is there anything better than waking up to Matt Lauer in the mornings?

Tuesday, February 23, 2010

Insomnia

Insomnia: It has nothing to do with being crazy...at least that's what web MD says. Something is on my mind, something I can't pinpoint. It is like an itch you can't scratch because it is inside your body just teasing you because it can.

I hate these nights.

Friday, January 8, 2010

Do something artsy, throw glitter at a cat!

Today was, well, it was a day. I am taking four credits this semester so I spend a lot of time at work and a lot of time thinking. See, that's when my problems set in. My thoughts set up camp and have my problems over for tea rendering my body totally incapable of speaking a complete, cohesive sentence. Yada, yada, yada, that's not the point. The point is this...I used to be so much fun! Finally, my four credit semester will allow me to be fun again. So, thoughts, problems, my brain is taking an extended vacation. We'll visit you in the summer.

In other news, The Ninja has made contact! In fact, she wants to go on an outing this weekend. She will make her appearance at Nordstrom. Which one, I do not know. Here is the proof:

Jayne: Want to go to Nordstrom this weekend?
Spencer: Yes. I'd love to. Can we skip in the store?
Jayne: I was thinking we should choreograph a dance. Or maybe play a game of bridge in the shoe department.
Spencer: That'd be the adult thing to do.
Jayne: I don't know the meaning of the word.

Thursday, January 7, 2010

I Always Walk With A Purpose

Today my sister texted me with an attached picture of my nephew. He had a huge grin; his head was all mouth! The caption below the picture made me grin too. He had finally lost his tooth. The story of how the tooth actually fell out of his mouth is rather vague. From what my sister could gather, he was at school and there were M&Ms involved. I don't see the problem of knowing all the details. It fell out didn't it? Well, there is more to the story.

Let me back up--This kid was defiant. He just wanted to let the tooth stay. However, his permanent tooth was waiting for NO ONE. Sooner or later his permanent tooth was going to overshadow his baby tooth. Could you imagine the terror of flossing that double decker? It would take specialized tools created from the ore of the moon's core and fashioned after the weapons of the early Soviet Union. But honestly, he stood in the bathroom and convinced that tooth it would never have to come out. I'm quite sure he ordered said tooth a hot tub and a personal masseur if it would just stay in his mouth. No blood, no pulling, no twisting. Just one tooth piggybacking a much larger tooth.

And this one picture made me think, "I'm just as stubborn as my nephew." It took that picture, his resistance, and those M&M's to wake me up. It was like being tapped on the forehead by my brother while he is yelling "NAME 10 FRUITS". Like my nephew's tooth, all this time I thought I was going nowhere. Thanks Tom for eating those M&M's or having them thrown at you or just yanking it out. You can move on and let your teeth grow in and I can move on and chuckle about the time I stood behind you in the bathroom and said to you while you had a tissue in your mouth, "twist more to the right...yep, keep twisting...now to the left...is it making a popping noise? I can't wait for pimples!"

Thursday, December 10, 2009

Slightly Pessemistic Christmas Cheer

I've been feeling a bit nostalgic lately with the semester coming to an end. I always look forward to the semester ending, but for some reason when the end is near, I keep hoping for the end to be a little farther away. I guess I just always hate having to say a final goodbye. To those boys and girls that always made eye contact with me, grinned and then looked down guiltily during class prayers....I'll never forget you. I hope we keep in touch through technological means. To the girl who still shuns me because of that one time I snorted during the professor's spiritual thought....I've already forgotten the plans I had to anger you more. I hope you all savor these last couple of weeks of school while you can. Soon instead of paying to be bored, you'll look for a place to be bored with pay. Instead of rolling your eyes to your professor's faces, you'll be rolling your eyes behind your bosses backs. OR maybe you are loving school right now and will have an AWESOMELY exciting job in the future. To those people....I have no words for you. Happy Holidays everyone!

Monday, November 2, 2009

You're A Jerk You're Jerk You're A Jerk You're Jerk

Do you ever have those days when you wish you dropped your phone in the toilet so you could admit to not wanting to pay $200 for a new one just so you didn't have to deal with the crap that comes through texts and calls? I know I have. And today was just one of those days. Had I just not turned on my phone then maybe my heart wouldn't be so angry. Yet, something good came from it all--the "Declaration of Stupidity". I share with you what should have been taught in elementary schools and is probably taught in Sweden anyway.

Declaration of Independence:
I denounce all stupidity. This includes mainly the stupidity of others but may include my own stupidity.

Stupidity is, but is not limited to, lack of cultural courtesy, intentional social blunderings, the purposeful (or not) proving of stereotypes, and just plain moronic-ness.

Along with said denunciation, I choose to end all supportive behaviors of stupidity: peer pressure, altered judgments, diseased minds, immaturity, and even truth/dare games.

I promote honesty, integrity, fairness, change, goodness, and reality.

Signed this 2nd day of November 2009 (too early to really matter).

That said, I'd like to say one thing to you, Internet. I value integrity. I know its a lost virtue in, well, pretty much every culture but, I have a small ounce of hope that there is some integrity left in almost everyone (except for Glenn Beck, he's just an ass). In short, just don't be so lame all the time! (You know who you are. Yeah, you hiding behind your dunce hat and rose colored glasses. That's right, I followed the trail of disdain that drips from your mouth onto the floor. You should really get that checked out.)

On that note, I cancel the video of the week because it was a failure. No, actually it was a two week long success! So, suck it! However, I will leave you with one of the most inspirational music videos of the millennium (too far?).