Celebrities....almost.

During dinner last night, my roommates were bragging about church authorities that they've met. One kept trying to top the other.

"I saw Elder Uchtdorf at a conference six months ago."
"Oh, really? That's awesome! I shook President Hinckley's hand at a devotional last year."
"No kidding! You got to shake his hand?? Elder Packer gave me a hug once. AND, this was pretty exciting, but Mitt Romney was in my room while I was in Jerusalem for study abroad. I wasn't in my room, but he was in it."

After a few minutes of this, I felt like I needed to chip in my two cents as well. But then I was slightly panicked because I couldn't think of any general authorities that I've met. I mean, of course I saw president Hinckley at a devotional once, but that sounds super lame after all of the AWESOME meet and greets the others were boasting about. Finally, I could feel the eyes turning towards me, all of them just waiting for me to top all of their comments with some spectacular revelation about the experience I had. For a split second, I thought about making something up. I mean, it's not like they'd ever find out whether or not I really sat next to President Monson on the bus once. Or that after the bus ride, he took such an interest in me he just had to invite me to dinner with his family. But, alas, I remembered that I am a terrible liar. So I spit out the truth. The truth being that the only "celebrity" experience I have ever had was when Donny Osmond shook my hand and thanked me for playing so well in the pit during his son's performance in Secret Garden.

It Must Be Said

This blog was never intended to be a place to rant about nor to promote politics. (You might try The Progressive Perspective if you are looking for a refreshing point-of-view.) However, I feel that if my conservative Facebook friends, blogger friends, relatives, acquaintances, postal worker, and religious authority can complain, I might as well show opposition. Why is it that March 21, 2010 has been deemed "a sad day in history", a SAD day for America, a step toward political oppression? Yes, the reform has flaws. Anyone who denies that is wrong. But, it is a start in the right direction. I'd like to share these words to show how uneducated many, if not all, of us are in regard to healthcare reform:

"Today I have to say it is a SAD day for America....congress passed the health care reform bill....bring on the socialism. Health care plans like this seem to be working so well around the world, NOT! What have we done? The majority of the those who passed this bill have admitted to not knowing what was in it or how it would even work....and they want the IRS to run it....like they know what they are doing.....so it is a SAD day for America. I can't wait to see how this all works out, because medicare is working so well....once again those of us in the middle will get nothing but gouged by the rich- insurance companies and the the poor, who know how to work the system."

I only link this to show that I did not make it up. Read it if you want. I am tired of hearing all the bitching. Until now, I have ignored the patronizing comments of my fellow Christians (or in my case, Mormons). Jesus would never want the best for his brother. After all, healthcare coverage would mean one less opportunity to heal the sick. And Jesus was only as good as his healing miracles, right? The rest of the stuff he did was all for show. But seriously, no one cried "boo" when Bush did this, this, or this. Ok, ok, I'm turning into one of them. If you support this legislation, even in the slightest, let people know. After I read this post I have to say I felt no shame in supporting this move toward "socialism". Now, I feel sad for those that just don't get it (me included). So, become educated. Ask questions. Demand answers. I think FDR put it right when he said that this United States is not the finished product, but that we are still in the making. But, let's just leave it at that.

We will return to normal operation soon. Ninja, the ball is in your court.

Faceless Shame

One of my favorite blogs has been particularly entertaining as of late. There is humor, there is sass, there is the answer to all of life's little problems. One particular entry from this past week has stuck with me.

Read it.

You'll relate.

And it got me to thinking, where is my place in this world? I've had to accept a few realities and let me tell you, accepting them was NO easy task.
1) I am quite plain. I don't do much in the world worth tooting a horn. However, I do my part in society-- pay my taxes, conserve energy, help the old lady cross the road...but, in all honesty, I don't do much.
2) I do not inspire. In fact I do quite the opposite, I "despire". Sure, you think it is hard to inspire, try to despire someone. It is nearly impossible.
3) I am unable to make a difference. When I was a boy scout and we had a service project I was the one picked to announce the event. I could sweet talk any one of my fellow scouters to attend that service outing. But, when the day of service came, I worried more about the refreshments than the actual project. Just the other day I signed up for President Obama's emails. This past week I received 3-4 each day asking me to call my representative. Did I? NO, AND I WAS PLEASED WITH MYSELF!

Spring is around the corner. I took this picture while enjoying an outing in my parent's backyard with my nephews.

Do something artsy, throw glitter at a cat!

Today was, well, it was a day. I am taking four credits this semester so I spend a lot of time at work and a lot of time thinking. See, that's when my problems set in. My thoughts set up camp and have my problems over for tea rendering my body totally incapable of speaking a complete, cohesive sentence. Yada, yada, yada, that's not the point. The point is this...I used to be so much fun! Finally, my four credit semester will allow me to be fun again. So, thoughts, problems, my brain is taking an extended vacation. We'll visit you in the summer.

In other news, The Ninja has made contact! In fact, she wants to go on an outing this weekend. She will make her appearance at Nordstrom. Which one, I do not know. Here is the proof:

Jayne: Want to go to Nordstrom this weekend?
Spencer: Yes. I'd love to. Can we skip in the store?
Jayne: I was thinking we should choreograph a dance. Or maybe play a game of bridge in the shoe department.
Spencer: That'd be the adult thing to do.
Jayne: I don't know the meaning of the word.

You're A Jerk You're Jerk You're A Jerk You're Jerk

Do you ever have those days when you wish you dropped your phone in the toilet so you could admit to not wanting to pay $200 for a new one just so you didn't have to deal with the crap that comes through texts and calls? I know I have. And today was just one of those days. Had I just not turned on my phone then maybe my heart wouldn't be so angry. Yet, something good came from it all--the "Declaration of Stupidity". I share with you what should have been taught in elementary schools and is probably taught in Sweden anyway.

Declaration of Independence:
I denounce all stupidity. This includes mainly the stupidity of others but may include my own stupidity.

Stupidity is, but is not limited to, lack of cultural courtesy, intentional social blunderings, the purposeful (or not) proving of stereotypes, and just plain moronic-ness.

Along with said denunciation, I choose to end all supportive behaviors of stupidity: peer pressure, altered judgments, diseased minds, immaturity, and even truth/dare games.

I promote honesty, integrity, fairness, change, goodness, and reality.

Signed this 2nd day of November 2009 (too early to really matter).

That said, I'd like to say one thing to you, Internet. I value integrity. I know its a lost virtue in, well, pretty much every culture but, I have a small ounce of hope that there is some integrity left in almost everyone (except for Glenn Beck, he's just an ass). In short, just don't be so lame all the time! (You know who you are. Yeah, you hiding behind your dunce hat and rose colored glasses. That's right, I followed the trail of disdain that drips from your mouth onto the floor. You should really get that checked out.)

On that note, I cancel the video of the week because it was a failure. No, actually it was a two week long success! So, suck it! However, I will leave you with one of the most inspirational music videos of the millennium (too far?).

Say WHAT?!?!

I have exactly 7.54 minutes left at work. I have just one thought for the day. I might regret it later on because as Mother always says, "anything you put on that internet will be there forever; your cyber thoughts just become cyber junk!" I love my mother.

My thought is this: be a senior missionary. You know what they do for 18 months? Go on a vacay! (I hate that word.) Instead of language classes they have computer classes. Instead of learning how to teach they are learning how to be taught. They can play hookie and meet up with their families or they can go on an extended field trip. God bless senior missionaries!

Thank you and rest easy.

[note to self: Self, at a later day insert a cheeky picture of an older man and woman using something like MS paint or a dumbed down version of photoshop. Your audience may like that.]

Potentially dangerous and oddly correct

I may not cure cancer or discover the next major technological miracle. I probably will not alter the social nature of an entire generation. I doubt I will write a book, create a company, or start a trend. I am uncertain about my future and fear my own discouragement. But, I do know, right now, that I'm ok.

Written back in May, these thoughts stayed locked away but the thronging masses of readers begged for a window into my soul. So eat your hearts out. Cause this probably won't be happening again.

May 14, 2009

I hit my mid-life crisis a few years back. I'm only 24. Does this mean that my life is half over? Not important. My mid-life crisis has spanned nearly two years of my life. I have a feeling its about to end. Yet, it is experiences like last night while I am lying on Jayne's bed and her head is on my back and we are talking, not just talking, but discovering ourselves through words, that remind me my mid-life crisis is still starring me down. Jayne, in my opinion, is still young at heart. At the age of 21 she still frets about her high school mascot and if her BFF is happily married. I would never belittle her feelings; they are legitimate and sincere. She lives in "fear" (for lack of a better word) of the people who should be her mentors. That worries me; She is worried. Despite this anxiety, Jayne and I have learned that love is 'selectively unconditional.' She wouldn't agree with me (she'd probably be pretty angry at me for saying that) but, her love is just that--selective and unconditional. She gives what she can and what she gives she uses her whole self to give. But, she is selective with whom she shares that love with. It's quite amazing how she does that. So, we are laying on her bed and I kind of surrender myself to her. I let my guard down. She is one of the few people who I feel comfortable enough to show my true self. She can know the real me. I was feeling pretty tender and vulnerable. I know she can sense the hopelessness on my breath. "Why do I feel so unimportant?" I think I ask the really hard questions and expect her to have all the really right answers. She doesn't. But, she doesn't profess to having them either. But, she understands me the most when I lower my protective wall and invite her in. And then, one of us does something immature like snorting or faking a seizure. I think we do that because we are afraid of the unknown. It's easier to just forget the pain for a few seconds than to indulge ourselves in it.

When you've been taken advantage of . . .

Disclaimer: By posting this, I am not doing this. Let's just get that straight.

For some time now, my little boy heart has had the desire to fix social issues. No, not fix, just get rid of social issues. But now I no longer have to search, ponder, and pray for the solutions! I only have to hop on to the "intergoogleweb" (as penned by this fellow blogger) and log onto my new favorite website howtogetridofstuff.com. I don't want to come right out and say exactly what I wanted to get rid of. So, let's play a little guessing game. I'll give you snippets of what I read and you can then guess what the topic is.

• No matter how generous you are or how magnanimous you want to be, everything you have has its limits.
• Send a clear message that helping him or her out means that both of you have to make some sacrifices.
• A friend in need is a friend in deed, and it's good to help out a friend when he or she is down and out.
• They strain not only your own budget, but put an unneeded strain on your friendship. Like many things about friendship, generosity should not be abused. You too have needs and wants that need to be fulfilled. They take up a lot of your time, and ultimately test your patience.

And finally:

• Whether it's a free lunch or a sleepover that extends from two weeks into forever, they can irritate even the most generous and level-headed friends. It's OK to be helpful and kind, but not when your generosity is abused and taken for granted. With these tips, you can send even the most annoying and persistent of these social junkies back to their own homes, where they belong.

So, did you guess it? If you guessed "freeloaders", you were correct. Like gophers in your garden or ants at your pic nic, it is difficult to feel okay about being taken advantage of.

So, how do you get rid of them (because isn't that the whole point of this website)? The suggestions are many but I like these few:

• Cut the phone line when you're leaving the house. You can also contact your phone service provider for a security key or activation code, or call divert options.
• Lock up your TV sets, radios, video game consoles, computers, and other electronic gadgets in a cabinet or a drawer. That way, the freeloader will have absolutely nothing to do and will only end up bored. (Also prevents theft, a common characteristics of freeloaders.)
• Turn off the electricity when you're leaving the house. The freeloader will then be pressured to leave because there's no air conditioning or electric light.
• Sometimes there's no other way to get rid of a freeloader but to pack up the duffel bags, and turn him or her away. It may seem cruel, but it's still your house. Besides, you've been more than generous, and you've been doing a good job at being a good friend. Turning your friend out may ruin your friendship, but you have to deal with the situation as rational adults who have lives of your own. (But if only one of you is a rational adult, the other may be called mean names or labeled a {edited for 'g rated audiences'}).

And if you STILL have a problem there may be one last way to deal with it. Issue an official edict: The Forced Exodus of said freeloader. The Holy Order of the Gilded Beaver may be of assistance.

Don't be shocked if . . .

. . . we went to high school together and you would not talk to me then and therefore I choose to not talk to you now. Don't take it personally. It will all work out in the eternities.