Thursday, June 9, 2011

Brave Soldier

Currently there are quite a few things in my life that are "time sensitive." For example: Job applications, work projects, my summer diet plan, etc. However, I find that the most time sensitive project that occurs in my day to day life is when I attempt to finish my cereal before it gets soggy.

There is a little kitchenette at my place of employment. In that kitchenette I keep various boxes of dry cereal as well as a carton of milk in the fridge. The distance from the kitchenette to my desk is around...50 feet. It takes me about 12 seconds to walk from one location to the other. I have recently been able to shave 3 seconds off of that time. Every second counts when your cereal is in jeopardy. Since I've started working full time, I've eaten cereal almost every morning at work. I've practically gotten it down to a science. If I book it from the kitchenette to my desk, and wolf down my cereal, I can almost still hear the crunch of my cereal even on the last bite. This morning was a different story. Right as I got to my desk, having almost spilled my cereal from trying to shave another second off of my "kitchen to desk" time, my phone rang. Had it been a personal call, I would have ignored it. Cereal is obviously more important. But unfortunately, it was a work call. The call took approximately 6 minutes and 47 seconds. I remember because during the entire length of the call, I stared desperately back and forth between the time on the phone and the bowl of cereal. As soon as the call ended, I immediately raised the spoon full of Life Cereal to my lips and into my mouth. There was no crunch. None. I contemplated throwing the ruined cereal away and starting over. But I didn't. BECAUSE THERE ARE STARVING CHILDREN IN AFRICA. (There are starving children in every country, but people tend to focus on Africa, so I'm just trying to conform.) Therefore, I finished every soggy bite of my cereal. Like a brave soldier. And by soldier I mean the toy ones in Toy Story that don't really do anything.

Tuesday, January 18, 2011

I guess he didn't get an A in geography...

I had recently added a psychology class to my schedule. Because I was two weeks late entering the class, I needed to stay after to talk to the teacher about what I've missed. My teacher is a grad student who looks like he's twelve. But I'm not judging.
As he was flipping through his folder, looking for a syllabus for me as well as other class materials, he started making small talk.

Teacher: So....where are you from?
Me: Taiwan
Teacher: Yeah? That's really cool. What do you like to do?
Me: I like to cook.
Teacher: Oh really? That's great! Do you make a lot of Thai food?
Me: Not Haha.
Teacher: No? You've never made good Thai food? Like pad thai? Do you even like Thai food?
Me: I love Thai food...I've just never made any.
Teacher: I bet your parents love Thai food huh?

It wasn't until this point in the conversation that I realized he wasn't just living up to his looks of a weird, geeky grad student. He was mistaking Taiwan for Thailand. But again, I'm not judging. It's a common misconception.

Tuesday, November 30, 2010

Charitable deed.

I participate the crap out of my night class. Not because the grad student who teaches it is any good. Nor is it because my classmates make it the best two and a half hours of my life. It is because my teacher is so bad, and my classmates so dull, that I feel the need to pipe up in class like never before. If I don't, the silence that causes my teacher's face to look so crestfallen makes me almost want to cry.

Thursday, November 11, 2010

Moment #237

The number of embarrassing moments continue to climb as I finish up my last year at BYU. The Outlaw has good reason to be afraid of spending time with me in public. Here's a conversation I had with one of the many helpful librarians at school.

Librarian: Hi! Can I help you?
Me: Yes. I'm looking for Sex With Kings.
Librarian:.... (silence).
Me: Let me clarify. The title of the book I cannot find is called "Sex with Kings."
Librarian: Um...sure. Let me look that up for you...and you're sure we have it?
Me: Absolutely.
Librarian: That sure is an interesting title.
Me: Yep.

We did find the book in the history section. We had a nice chat about the contents of the book. He was even nice enough to wave the hefty twenty-two dollar fine that I had on my account. So, next time you guys have a library fine... You know what to do.

Friday, October 29, 2010

Ugly duckling....wait, I'm an adult. So...just an ugly swan.

I had two blisters on my hand from cooking. I walked up behind my mom to show her. I stuck out my hand and said, "look how ugly!" She turned and without glancing at my hand, immediately scrutinized my face and said, "no, it's not that bad." Thanks mom.

Monday, October 18, 2010

This MUST be Addressed

I've returned...for now. But, I've noticed a troubling trend among men in their mid to late 50's which must be mentioned. It is NEVER ok, no matter how classy it may look, to wear a Disney wrist watch. Now that that is in the open, I think I can attempt to blog again. (That is if I ever get internet at my house and stop bumming around Starbucks.)

Tuesday, September 28, 2010


Courtesy of the Outlaw, I now have in my possession an adorable recipe box. I wish I could put into words what I feel every time I put in a recipe card. I imagine the feeling to be similar to what Paula Deen experiences every time she unwraps another stick of butter.