Saturday, January 31, 2009

Static Cling

Every morning I park far away from campus, farther than desired. God's University should have come with parking garages and shuttle buses. Instead it comes with uneven pavement and ramps, lots and lots of ramps. We are a handicapped friendly school! Which brings me to point one . . .

1) Trekking to humanities is more a ritualistic process. I park next to Jayne, we step out into the frigid air, make some snide remark about the person walking in front of us, and then frown at our failed attempt to try to be more kind. But, one particular morning the steps, which descend onto the holy ground, were covered in ice. I was feeling particularly raunchy that morning--my oatmeal was stale. By this point in our walk Jayne and I were talking about scholarships or jazzy wheelchairs or all of the above. I have decided it would be fortuitous for me to slip on the ice, break my spine, get a jazzy chair, and get a scholarship for being "lame". Additional positives to being immobile, Jayne would have a free ride from car to campus and I could completely take advantage of the ramps and gentle slopes around campus.

2) Friday morning I was a little late to work--common. I was speed walking down the spiral bridge across "Campus Drive" or "Bulldog" or whatever that road is called. *Note: SPEED WALKING not running because running is not acceptable. The girl walking up the ramp had a horrible case of static cling. Her skirt was somewhere between her upper thigh and her upper, upper thigh. Poor girl. The only redeeming part of her outfit was her Young Woman's medallion. I know static cling exists and the church is true!

So, if you ever doubt that BYU is THE BEST, don't!

Friday, January 16, 2009

Don't be shocked if . . .

. . . we went to high school together and you would not talk to me then and therefore I choose to not talk to you now. Don't take it personally. It will all work out in the eternities.

Tuesday, January 6, 2009

First day of school

Due to the fact that I tried to tone down my mocking of other people during the holidays and be nice, I seem to be extra irritable this new year; therefore resulting in double the redicule. However, one of my new year's resolutions this year is being nicer to people so we'll see how that goes.

The first class that I attended this semester was Psych 111. Since it's general psychology, the class had an abundance of freshman. I had the misfortune of sitting by one that fell asleep. At first his head was kind of slumped forward, then he kind of jerked awake when the class gave a courtesy chuckle at something the professor said, (yeah kids, like the professor is going to remember who laughed at her lame joke and give you some bonus points) then he fell back asleep with his head slumped back and mouth open. The next thing I know, what felt like a baseball bat hit my head and I literally saw starts. The moron's head hit my head. He looked at me, gave a little sheepish chuckle, said sorry, and went back to what he was doing before he fell asleep. Which was drawing dragons, yes I'm serious, on his notebook page. Come on kid, you're in college. You should know how to sleep in class unoticed by now. Say goodbye to whatever high school you finally escaped from and step up.