Thursday, December 18, 2008

Because being nice can only last for so long.

Finals seem to bring about the good, the bad, and the ugly. For me, it was simply a life-altering ailment and the satisfaction of knowing that when I return from Christmas break, I will still have finals to complete. For others, the joy of knowing that one more semester is ending makes them relatively tolerable. And then there are some who should only be allowed out of their apartment in shackles and chains for they may regret their decisions to exercise any form of free speech. They do exist, they do!

I want to share an email that was sent to Jayne's entire class. This fellow student must have felt the pressures of finals and so he snapped. Poor guy, hope this doesn't come back to haunt him. Here is the email in its entirety:

Subject: Be self reliant.: JST57-20085-1

Thanks to many of you for the most annoying semester of "i missed class, please send me the notes" in other words: be a college student for me. My 2 cents is: if you want to pass the class, be self reliant. If not, quit college.

Really? You have to be so stingy? Well, when Aunt Bertha dies or your brother Hector gets married and you can't be to class, don't you dare send an email to your class asking for notes. We will NOT give them to you No, we won't.

(Feel free to send an email sharing your feelings on this matter.)

Monday, December 15, 2008

The hole that food can't fill

Last night, on my way back from attending my first advent celebration at Spencer's house in Bountiful, I turned my radio station to Kosy 106.5 for some Christmas music. The person who was currently on the air for that station was Delilah. Feeling rather in the Christmas spirit after listening (and singing along) to Santa Baby, I turned up the volume and prepared myself for the next Christmas song. However, more Christmas music did not follow. What did follow was Delilah saying the following:

"Christmas is a wonderful time. The snow, the sights, the smells, and we're in love. And if you're not, well, then it stinks. But that's why we're here. To fill the hole in your heart."

Needless to say, I immediately set all my radio presets to Delilah. I now look forward to her filling the hole in my heart. For the rest of my life.

Oh, one more thing. I received no less than three wedding invitations today. Getting those in the mail used to be cute. Now it's more like getting fancy insults delivered right to my mailbox.

Saturday, December 13, 2008

Love has never been expressed so deeply as it has here.

Jayne and Spencer, after a roaring party with a 6 year old, returned to Provo only to finish their evening with Brother Lee and all his books and some hot and bothered students. Please view exhibit A:You may ask, "Did they ever move while studying?" The answer: YES! Only closer! Please notice the girl across the table from them. She failed her sewing final. Thanks happy couple!

Exhibit B (forgive the poor video quality):

Here is the commentary written out for those hard of hearing--
Spencer: Do it! Come on do it. Suck on her finger. Quick, get the move on . . . PERFECT! Goin' in. A touch of the lips. He's not sure, "Should I do it? Should I not?"

Jayne (inaudible): Take a picture. NO, take a video!

Spencer: Ha ha, I am taking a video! (Spencer adds in some heavy breathing.) I wish you could have just seen that because . . . they . . . um, were biting each others fingers. And, ah . . (Awkward pause.) Jayne, do you have anything to say about that?

Jayne: I'm trying to study. How am I supposed to do that with this kind of, action, going on in front of me?

Spencer (Feeling a bit vain mumbles about the distance of the camera from his face and the happiness of the viewers.)

Spencer: The tension is so thick in here you could cut it with a knife.

Jayne: I'll suck on my own finger so I can feel better.

Thursday, December 11, 2008

Parents say the darndest things!

A late night text from Jayne.

Jayne: Kept hearing, no not kidding, moaning sounds coming from my parents room. What would a normal person do? Go to their own room and put in ear phones. What do I do? Go and investigate. Thank the HEAVENS it was just my mother talking in her sleep.

Me: Ha ha ha! So funny! Just groan back. It'll feel natural to you.

Jayne: What do you think I'm doing right now?

Wednesday, December 10, 2008

New beginnings

So you all know how newlyweds start blogs, sends you the address via email, and expect you to follow the blissful happenings of their everyday life? Well, this blog will be just like like those ones, but with a few exceptions.

1. Spencer and I are not married, in a relationship, or involved in any way shape or form. We're kind of like....siblings/best friends.

2. We don't expect you to follow the blissful happenings of our lives religiously. Mostly because there won't be many blissful posts. The posts that we'll write will probably include more scorn and ridicule (directed toward ourselves and others) than anything else.

3. We are people who aren't easily offended, but who offend people easily. So if you are rubbed the wrong way over anything we write, we apologize in advance.

After many funny, funny events that happened this semester, we realized that we need to share these experiences with our friends. So, thanks for visiting and happy reading!